Monthly Archives: January 2014

“The Newcastle Song” released by Bob Hudson

Don’t you ever let a chance go by, oh Lord,
Don’t you ever let a chance go by.

Yes, up in Newcastle they have very strange mating habits.
All the young women of Newcastle
walk down the main street
which is called Hunter Street
for reasons that will become obvious
later on in the song.

All the young men of Newcastle
drive down Hunter Street
in their hot FJ Holdens
with chrome plated grease nipples
and double reverse
overhead twin cam door handles,
sitting eight abreast in the front seat,
and they lean out of the window
and say real cool things to the sheilas
on the footpath, like ‘Aah g’day’.

And every now and then, of course,
one of the young ladies thinks to herself
she thinks

Don’t you ever let a chance go by, oh Lord
Don’t you ever let a chance go by.

Anyway there was this mob of blokes
driving down Hunter Street
in the front seat of the hot FJ
with chrome plated grease nipples
and twin overhead foxtails,
and the coolest of them all,
who got to sit near the window,
was young Norm.

And they pulled up outside
the Parthenon milk bar
and standing outside
the Parthenon was this beautiful looking sheila.

Oooh! Oooh! said young Normie
who’d come top of his class in English,
Ooooh! he said.
So he leaned out of the window,
and he said real, real suave like,
he said G’day.

This nine foot tall Hell’s Angel
came out of the Parthenon milk bar,
looked at Norm and said
Arr, what are ya?
Norm said, What are you?
Bloke on the footpath said
D’ya want a go, do ya mate, eh?
Norm said Yeah, d’you want a go, mate?
Bloke on the footpath said
Yeah I’ll have a go
Norm said
D’you know who you’re picking?
The bloke on the footpath said
Nah, who am I picking?
Norm said
You find out
And all of a sudden there was a break in the traffic,
and as any young Newcastle lad knows-
when you’re getting monstered
by a nine foot tall Hells Angel
and there’s a break in the traffic….

Don’t you ever let a chance go by, oh Lord
Don’t you ever let a chance go by.




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Dialogue from Film – “Highlander” ~~Church~~

Connor Macleod is lighting candles in St. Patrick’s Cathedral.
He is beside the altar. There are tall stained-glass windows and muted sunlight in the church.
There are parishioners scattered about amongst the pews, in prayer.

(He lights a candle) For you, my bonnie Heather. Happy birthday.
(He lights a second candle) And you, Juan Ramirez.
Take care of her, you overdressed haggis.
Moving to an empty pew, he sits silently, lost in the past.

Footsteps, heavy boots.
The figure steps up to the altar, hands together in mock prayer, and he reaches forward dousing the candles with the flat of his hand.
Nuns look over with concern. Some parishioners look up from prayer.
He walks on to Macleod, stopping beside him, he puts his hand on his shoulder and leans down.

Kastagir is gone. Only you and I remain.
(He sits down behind Macleod)

MACLEOD (Turning back to the Kurgan):
(Sarcastically) Nice to see you Kurgan. Who cut your hair?

The Kurgan has become a punk-rocker with his head largely shaved, and his scarred throat secured with many safety pins.

KURGAN (His voice deep and rasping):
I am in disguise. This way no one will recognise me.

I do.

The Kurgan is amused, but does not care.

What do you want?

Your head.

Macleod laughs, not with any fear.

And the Prize.

Two nuns walk down the aisle.
The Kurgan turns to them suddenly as they pass by.

Happy Hallowe’en ladies!

The nuns immediately cross themselves, and the Kurgan leers at them with his tongue flicking at them as they continue down the aisle. Some of the parishioners look on with concern.

Lost your sense of humour.

MacLeod’s eyes fix on the Kurgan’s safety-pinned throat-scar.

Ramirez’s blade did not cut deeply enough.
He was right about you. You are slime.

KURGAN (Harshly):
Ramirez was an effete snob.
He died on his knees.
I took his head and raped his woman before his blood was even cold.

The Kurgan laughs with evil delight.
The priest leads the altar boys away.
The parishioners begin to leave the church.

The Kurgan stares at MacLeod’s stricken face.
Understanding dawns in his lurid eyes.

I see. Ramirez lied. She was not his woman. She was your woman.
(Leering) And she never told you. I wonder why. Perhaps I gave her something you never could, and secretly she yearned for my return.

Macleod grabs his shirt, with fury in his heart.
They rise; The Kurgan shoves Macleod’s arm away.

Holy ground, Highlander. Remember what Ramirez taught you.

You can’t stay in here forever.

KURGAN (Smiling and returning to sit in the pew):
You’re weak, Highlander. You will always be weaker than I.

Macleod swiftly grabs the Kurgan under his chin, snapping his head back.

I’ll be out front.

KURGAN (Shoving Macleod’s hand away):
Goodbye, Macleod.
We will meet soon enough.

MacLeod leaves by the front doors. The Kurgan leans back in the pew with his arms behind his head and his heavy boots resting on the next row. Evil laughter rings through the church.

The Priest confronts the Kurgan.

This is the house of God. People are trying to pray. You’re disturbing them.

He cares about these helpless mortals.

Of course He cares, He died for our sins.

That shall be his undoing.

Father, forgive me. I am a worm.

The Kurgan goes to kiss the Priest’s hand, but instead drags his tongue heavily across it, looking up at the Priest with evil amusement. The Kurgan walks off down the aisle, laughing, but stops and turns.

I have something to say.
(Dancing a twirl and roaring at the church)
It is better to burn out than fade away.

Laughing, he leaves the church.


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Paul McCartney – Color Card No.2


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“Lucky Stars” released by Dean Friedman with Denise Marsa

What are you crazy? How in the hell can you say what you just said?
I was talking to myself. Shut the door and come to bed.
By the way, I forgot to say, your endearing mother called today.
Did you see Lisa?
Yes I saw Lisa.
Is that why … you’re … angry?
I wasn’t angry.
Maybe a little.
Not even maybe.
Must be the weather.
Now don’t be a baby.
We’ll how am I supposed to feel with all the things you don’t reveal and you can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are.

Would you like to talk about it?
There’s not much to say.
We had lunch this afternoon. Her life’s in disarray.
She still goes around as if she is always stumbling off a cliff.
Do you still want her?
What are you saying?
Do you still want her?
Baby stop playing.
Really, I mean it. Can you forget her?
Baby, now stop it. You should know better.
I know this is hard to do. But, there’s no one for me but you and

You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are.

Baby, I’m sorry, I was wrong, I have no alibis.
I was acting like a fool and I apologize.
Listen, hon’, I know you’re dumb, but that’s O.K., you don’t have to look so glum.
Do you still love me?
Yes, I still love you.
You mean, you’re not just being nice.
No, I’m not just being nice.
Do you feel sleepy.
Aw, you’re so sincere. Yes, I feel sleepy.
Well, slide over here. ‘Cause I may not be all that bright, but I know how to hold you tight and,

You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are and
You can thank your lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are and
We can thank our lucky stars that we’re not as smart as we’d like to think we are.



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Dialogue from Television – “Life” ~~One~~

What should I say this time?

I’ll write it down for you.
Charlie wants to know if Roman likes oranges.

Two white SUVs are on the road.
Inside one of the SUVs, Roman Nevikov is seated behind the driver, a henchmen holding an automatic weapon is behind him, and Detective Dani Reese beside him. The car is filled with loud pumping music, vocals delivered in Russian.

Nevikov looks over at Reese and blows her a kiss. She looks away worried and uncertain.

Switch to a peaceful scene of a large plantation of orange trees.
Special Agent Paul Bodner and Detective Charlie Crews are walking from their vehicle.

You own this orange grove?

Bought it when I first got out.
Don’t get out here as much as I’d like to.

Not sure I understand you.

Not sure I do either.
Having a little trouble with my math today.

Your math? I’m sure I do not understand you.

Crews’ phone rings.

Detective, you are here?

I am here.

I’m bringing her to you.
Is Rayborn there?


Let me hear you say.

Rayborn is here.

Ok. I see any other cop cars, helicopters; I shoot Reese in the head and leave her on road.

The call ends.

What do you mean, ‘your math?’

Oh, y’know, adding things up.

I guess I understand that.

The two white SUVs approach Crews and Bodner.
They stop and Nevikov emerges from the vehicle, together with his armed henchmen.

How is the family, Agent Bodner?

Getting along.

Still on holiday. You must miss them so.

Bodner stares back at Nevikov.

Ok. I don’t see Rayborn.

Sure you do.
He’s right here.

But he’s not.
(To the henchman) Shoot her.

CREWS (quickly):
This is why he ‘what’, Roman.
You know what I’m talking about.

Wait, wait.

What you said to me, ‘it’s why he ‘what’?’
Why Rayborn ‘what’, Roman?
Why he chose me?
Is that what…

Where is Rayborn?

As I said, you’re looking right at him.
Whatever you want from Rayborn, you can get it from me now.
His accounts, his connections, everything he knew, I know.
But it’s just the money, right?
That’s all you want.

You for her.

Me for her.

(To henchmen) Bring her out.

Reese emerges from the SUV.


Nevikov beckons Crews to come.


Just breathe.

They go to touch hands.

No, no. No touching. No tricks.

The exchange is complete.
Crews with Nevikov, Reese with Bodner.

Search him.

They put Crews against the car and frisk him, removing his handcuffs, his weapon, and throwing his detective shield in the dirt. He is manhandled into the SUV, and they drive off.

What was his plan getting in that SUV?

His plan was getting you out of that SUV.

The SUVs motor along. Again Nevikov sits behind his driver with Crews to his right.

He calls you an animal.

Nevikov looks over at Crews.

Rayborn. He calls you an animal.
But it’s not so bad, because I’ve seen him with his dog and he loves, he loves that animal.
So, you know it’s not so bad.

Nevikov removes his sunglasses.

I need those account numbers, foreign and domestic, keys to safety deposit boxes, combinations to home and office safes.
You will give me these things. (He stares at Crews with menace)

Sure, but that’s not what you want.
What you want is what Rayborn gave me.
You want him to choose you.
You want what he gives his dog.

Nevikov looks at Crews with rage.

You want his …

Nevikov strikes Crews hard across the jaw.
His head lolls to the right against the window.
Nevikov stares at him and looks away.
Crews stares out the window at the passing orange trees.

CREWS (whispers):
One plus one equals one.

He continues to stare at the trees.

What are those numbers?

Do you want to know how I got through twelve years of prison?

(With sarcastic amusement) Your zen?

Crews turns his head back to look at Nevikov.
Nevikov begins to laugh.

Crews strikes him hard across his throat, smashing his windpipe.
Nevikov looks with shock.
He chokes, gasps for air.
The henchmen look at their boss, unsure what to do.

Like that.

Nevikov settles and dies quickly, silently.
The henchmen cock their weapons, ready to fire.

Whatever he had on you and your families is gone.
So we can start over, right now.
Or we can go on killing.

There is silence as the henchmen consider their options.

You fellas do speak English?

The SUVs return to the orange grove, stop, and Crews steps from the vehicle.
They drive off.

Crews loosens his tie, and looks down the road to see a car approaching.
Reese is in the car. She sees Crews and looks almost incredulous.

Zen Voiceover:
What we learned as children, that one plus one equals two, we know to be false.
One plus one equals one.
We even have a word when You plus Another equals One, that word is Love.


Crews and Reese are exchanged

Crews and Reese are exchanged

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Excerpt from “The Love Bug” adapted by Mel Cebulash ~~Herbie~~

picture-LoveBug-CebulashJim explained everything, including the strange actions of the little car, while he poked around its engine trying to find answers to his own questions.
“Well, I knew it would happen,” Tennessee said sadly. “Now it’s already starting to happen.”
“What’s starting to happen?”
“Us human beings had a chance to make something out of this world,” Tennessee said. “We blew it though. Now some other kind of civilization is going to take a turn.”
Jim got a wrench and went back to work on the little car’s engine.
“I’m sitting on this mountain with all the swamis, monks, and gurus around me,” Tennessee continued. “I’m looking out at my stomach, and I got some contemplation going. I see things like they are. I see that all this was coming.”
“What was coming?”
“The machines,” Tennessee said very seriously. “We stuff them full of information and teach them to be smarter than we are. A car is a good example. We give more love and time and money for it than our wives and kids get all year. Pretty soon the machine starts to get an idea that it is somebody.”
Reaching for another wrench, Jim said, “I think you were on that mountain top too long.”
“Oh, I’m not saying a mechanical thing can’t be a friend. When I was broke one summer, there was this giant claw machine out at the amusement park. The claw used to drop cameras and watches down the hole to me. I could sell them and buy lunch. That claw was a real friend.
“On the other hand, that traffic light down at the corner hates my guts. I never did anything to it, but still it gives me the stop sign every time, and it makes me wait six seconds longer than anyone else. I timed it. Other people have things like that happen to them all the time.”
Jim faced his friend. “Tennessee, that traffic light is just a lot of nuts and bolts just like this car. Everything finally explains itself one way or another.”
“I don’t think you got the picture,” Tennessee said sadly.
“I got it,” Jim said. “What this car did tonight was caused by some kind of mechanical problems. I just haven’t found them yet, but the real picture is that this little bug can turn on the speed. You know how it is. They make a thousand cars exactly the same way, but one or two turn out to be something special. Now, I could be kidding myself, but I think I can make something out of this motorized beetle.”
After closing the little car’s bonnet, Jim went upstairs to the bedroom, while Tennessee got a blanket and gently folded it over the little car’s rear end. “I’m your friend,” he whispered, patting the little car’s roof. “If you need anything during the night, call me.”
Then Tennessee hurried upstairs. There Jim explained that he was going to take the little car out for a test run in the morning. Tennessee said that he would go along for the ride. Minutes later, Jim was fast asleep, dreaming about races he would win with the speediest little beetle in the world, and Tennessee was also fast asleep, snoring.
On the freeway the next morning, Jim said, “What did I tell you? This little bug runs like an electric clock.”
“Yeah,” Tennessee agreed, “Herbie’s all right.”
“Who’s Herbie?” Jim said.
“The little car. I named it after my Uncle Herb, who used to be a fighter. After a few fights, his nose got to look like this little car. Do you mind?”
Jim smiled. “No, I’m not sure how you figured out this little beetle is a male, but Herbie’s fine with me.”

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“Who Do You Think You Are” released by Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods

Who am I?
I’m just a guy who only wants to try
To do what’s right and never make you cry
But you’re no good to me, and

Who do you think you are?
You try to push me a bit too far
And every day sees another scar
Tell me, who do you think you are?
If you want me there, you gotta care
Who do you think you are, taking advantage of me this way?
Who do you think you are, hurting me more with everything you say?
It’s not fair, you don’t care
Who do you really think that you are?

Where are we?
We’re at the crossroads and I just can’t see
Which road to take to keep you here with me
The lights are down and baby,

Who do you think you are?
You try to push me a bit too far
And every day sees another scar
Tell me, who do you think you are?
If you want me there, you gotta care
Who do you think you are, taking advantage of me that way?
Who do you think you are, hurting me with everything you say?
It’s not fair, you don’t care
Who do you really think that you are?

Who am I?
I’m just a guy who only wants to try
To do what’s right and never make you cry
But you’re no good to me, and

Who do you think you are?
You try to push me a bit too far
And every day sees another scar
Tell me, who do you think you are?

Yeah, baby, who do you think you are?
You try to push me a bit too far
And every day sees another scar
Tell me, who do you think you are?



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